fear (fîr) – A feeling of agitation and anxiety caused by the presence or imminence of danger. A feeling of disquiet or apprehension.

I have spent most of my life in fear…
Of not being good enough
Of not getting out of a this stifling town
Of not getting what I want
Of roaches
Of being taken advantage of
Of loving too hard
Of getting hurt mentally and physically
Of rejection
Of spiders
Of letting people down
Of not living up to expectations
Of my health
Of growing older and not wiser
Of being alone…

I'm sure there are a million other things I've been scared of…too many to list. And now, on the precipice of joining my life with you, I can say that I have no fear. I'm excited, but not fearful. I'm too happy to allow fear in.

I think my most favorite part of the day is when I get to see you fall asleep…. Combating slumber like a warrior until you finally lose the battle and your eyelashes rest against your cheeks… Hearing your breathing slow down and turn into a rhythmic in and out sound that lulls me into a sleep myself… Feeling you wiggle against me when you roll over and put your backside against mine… And hearing you whisper back when I tell you that I love you.. this little night-time ritual feeds my soul.

My life before you, as you know, was hard, strange, difficult, and stressful. And while there were definitely bright moments, I can certainly tell the difference between my life with you and my life without you.

My life now is less complicated, content, fun, complete, and enjoyable. It's full of laughter and giggles. It's not always easy, but at the end of the day, I know you love me more than anything… just the way that I love you.

And I take extreme joy in the notion that I'm going to spend every night and every day with you. Growing, learning, loving, and being with you. My life is so full of quiet contentment that I don't have any room for nervousness or fear…

Not about us, anyway.

Popularity: 1% [?]